The Star Wars “Problem”

*** WARNING: THIS POST CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR STAR WARS: THE RISE OF SKYWALKER AND THE ENTIRE SKYWALKER SAGA. PROCEED WITH CAUTION. ***

Back in 2015, as the lights dimmed in the theater and those iconic words lit up the screen, and John Williams’ fantastic score transported the audience into the vast reaches of a faraway galaxy, I had tears in my eyes knowing I would finally get to experience a Star Wars film on the big screen. The Force Awakens reignited my interest in the revived, freshly Disney-purchased Lucasfilm franchise, just as it inspired a ton of new fans, including the little girl I saw in line at the theater this past Sunday, clutching her Rey doll in her hand and bouncing on her heels in excitement while waiting for her popcorn. Things like that warm my jaded, cold heart and make me earnestly believe that films are made in order to legitimately inspire others, not just to make money.

The Force Awakens was, in more than one way, an awakening. An awakening of new fans, of a new chapter in the franchise, of new cash flow for the House of Mouse, of new beginnings… and of an onslaught of criticism, backlash, and controversy, not entirely undeserved, which has culminated in a massive divide in fan reaction of the last release in the Skywalker saga, 2019’s The Rise of Skywalker.

Full disclosure: I’m not a lifelong Star Wars fan. I didn’t deep dive into the books or the extended universe, but I love the original films, I tolerate the prequels, and I liked all of the sequel films. I liked The Force Awakens. I liked The Last Jedi. And I liked The Rise of Skywalker. But I will say, as a whole, that the sequel films do not feel like a completely cohesive trilogy – and that is likely due to different approaches in directing and storytelling creating an over-arcing plot that stuttered when it could have truly shone, which probably has something to do with Disney’s overlords, too. No disrespect to the Mouse, of course. Y’all have plenty of my money, don’t worry.

Of course, my appreciation for the newest cinematic adventures long ago in a galaxy far, far away, and my defense of their merit is not to say that all three sequel films were without problems. Do I think certain things could have been different? Of course. TFA could have been less derivative. TLJ could have retained more elements of TFA to make them feel more connected. And TRoS could have felt less crammed, done less backtracking, and could have handled characters/stories better. And that’s the short list.

I don’t read reviews and try to avoid reactions for Star Wars films until after I see the films myself. When it comes to toxic fandoms, Star Wars is near the top of the list – as is expected with fandoms that are also highly passionate – so I like to steer clear of the horde yammering about “so and so should have happened” and “so and so should have done this” and “my theory was wrong and now I’m going to whine about it on the internet” and “well, in the lore they did this” until I can form an opinion on my own, untainted by the interpretation of others.

Many complained that The Force Awakens was too much like A New Hope – and it certainly does follow extremely similar story beats. A new hero rises to prominence and must go on an adventure with some recruited droids/friends and a reluctant mentor, there’s a conflicted bad dude in a mask, Rey witnesses Han’s death the same way Luke sees Obi-Wan’s, big spherical evil base gets destroyed, etc, etc.

So, when Rian Johnson took the helm for The Last Jedi, he abandoned many threads introduced in TFA and defied story tropes by claiming that our heroine, Rey, was actually “no one,” and thus an incredible Force user without strong blood-ties to a prominent family, by having Kylo Ren kill the “Big Bad” Snoke, by showing a divisive side of Luke Skywalker, and introducing the first female POC major character in the films, Rose Tico – and it sparked a volatile reaction among the fandom, despite critical praise. Toxic fans went after Kelly Marie Tran because they didn’t like her character, fans rebelled against the idea that Luke Skywalker would just “walk away” from being a Jedi, and many hated the idea that Rey was not related to anyone from the original films. Not invalid complaints by any means, but complaints nonetheless.

Perhaps due to the backlash kicked up by TLJ, J.J. Abrams took the reins back for The Rise of Skywalker, and, predictably, he picked up some of the ideas that Johnson had abandoned. Palpatine is back – or, rather, he was there all along. The Knights of Ren are back. Rey is revealed to be a Palpatine, thus explaining her strong connection to the Force. Kylo Ren – the “villain” – is redeemed, and his name of Ben Solo restored. Easter Eggs, fan service, and callbacks to the original films and other Star Wars media everywhere you look. And, yet again, fans and critics are calling it the worst film in the entire series. That is a bold claim after Phantom Menace (I kid, I kid… maybe).

I understand a lot of the criticism surrounding the newest release. Palpatine being the big bad regurgitates another villain. Rose Tico / Kelly Marie Tran – and her 76 seconds of screen time – certainly deserved better. Introducing Zorii Bliss as some old flame of Poe’s felt forced, though her character is cool. Jannah feels similarly short-changed, and I hope we see more of her in the future. We have no idea what Finn is going to do next. It was difficult to watch Ben Solo earn his redemption and take his name back only to give up his life force to save Rey, although it makes narrative sense. I mean, I loved Driver’s emotionally-charged portrayal in all 3 films and Kylo Ren/Ben Solo is my favorite character in the new trilogy with the exception of General Hux, but that’s due to my crush on Domnhall Gleeson. A HEA between Ben and Rey might have worked and part of me would have loved it due to their incredible onscreen chemistry and their almost palpable bond, but it’s hard to just forget how many times over the series he gaslit and manipulated Rey to try and convince her to his way of thinking, including the whole “the only way you get to Exegol is with me” moment, which is a big no no in a relationship, but that’s also besides the point and I won’t drone on about it. I know he was basically a puppet and manipulated into becoming a villain from the start, and he was extremely conflicted about his evil deeds, and he did reject the Sith in the end, but that doesn’t entirely absolve him of things like killing his dad, even if Han forgave him. Would have at least liked to have seen him as a Force Ghost at the end, if not be permitted to take further steps on Redemption Road. The whole “Rey Skywalker” thing is… meh. I get it, but I also think she could have owned her Palpatine name instead of burying it. In all, TRoS is predictable entertainment, and it retreats into familiarity instead of breaking new ground… but as the finale to a trilogy of trilogies, one that must conclude a nine film saga, that is to be expected.

Basically… both TLJ and TRoS (and Johnson and Abrams, respectively) made an effort to undo what their predecessor did – one by taking daring new steps in a progressive direction, the other by sticking to a proven formula that honors tradition, and, at times, “caves” to the toxicity of the fandom. And the effect is certainly… jarring. TLJ feels the most out of place in both tone and plot – I’m not saying that’s bad, because it’s not, and the film certainly hearkens back to ESB the way that TFA does to ANH – and it’s sandwiched between two Abrams-directed films, which, as a result, makes the trilogy feel disjointed, and contributes to much of the dissatisfaction with the conclusion. TFA was too derivative, so TLJ made some changes, and TRoS undid those changes. I mean…. I’m not going to say it was a directorial pissing contest, but maybe it was – I’m not sure what went on behind the scenes. Then again, I also don’t know how much either director knew about what the endgame was, or how much overall plot was worked out beforehand, so I can’t criticize their decision-making too much. Point is, a lot of valuable plot time was probably wasted – especially in TRoS – trying to “fix” ideas from the previous film that fans and critics took issues with.

It’s easy to say what should have happened in retrospect, but I truly believe the films would have benefited from having the same director for all three. This one probably should have been Abrams, only because he started it off with TFA. I would have liked to see what he could have done if he had been behind the camera for the second film, as much as I appreciated TLJ – which features one of the absolute greatest scenes in the entire series in the Kylo Ren/Rey fight against the Praetorian guards. Like, imagine if The Two Towers was directed by… Michael Bay, instead of Peter Jackson. That’s an extreme and not totally equivalent example, but you get the point – it does make a difference. Cohesion is so, so important to a story. And when directors aren’t on the same page – and producers most likely aren’t helping matters by meddling, which did not help Solo or Rogue One either – you fail to achieve balance, and it will be noticeable in the final product.

That’s also why I hope Johnson gets his shot at a new trilogy or film, if he’s still on board for making one and if producers butt the eff out. If nothing else, moviegoers should check out his other work as well. Knives Out, which he directed and which is still playing in theaters – is one of the best films of the year, by far. He didn’t deserve the backlash he got for TLJ, and I, for one, would love to see what he could do with the Star Wars universe if given a totally clean slate. His ideas are compelling – and he could make some serious galactic magic.

As a fan, I was satisfied, but not blown away by the conclusion of the Skywalker saga. I have fallen in love with new characters, new worlds, and new droids – here’s looking at you, D-0. Do I think things could have been different, and perhaps better? Sure – they always could, no matter how great films are or how much we like them. But perhaps the biggest, baddest enemy in the Star Wars universe is not Emperor Palpatine… but the franchise itself, bogged down by it’s own nostalgia and strict adherence to tradition and the familiar. Listening to fans is not always the best policy. I can only hope that small sparks – like Solo, Rogue One, and The Mandalorian, which are of a more standalone nature – shall lead to a bright future and continued success for one of the greatest franchises of all time.

Hall of Fame pt. 3

Okay, okay. It’s been a minute, I know. I’m a bit behind. The holiday season (which, if you work retail, is Sept-Jan) has been rough on me this year. But I am TRYING to get back on track with posting and I appreciate the patience!

Though, my job has not been the only reason I haven’t been posting. I have also, unashamedly, spent most of my limited free time playing Pokemon Shield. It’s been a wonderful journey through the Galar region for me, and I can now say that I have become the league champion! I’m currently enjoying filling my Pokedex, and, for the fourth time since Diamond/Pearl, my Pokemon have contracted the Pokerus virus!

But here is my final team!

1.) InteleonSarge
I always pick the water starter, and I was super pleased with Sobble and its evolutionary line. While I’ve breezed through games with other water starters at the helm, this one actually gave me a nice, but not too frustrating challenge at times, which allowed some other team members to shine. Plus, the secret agent/spy theme Inteleon has going on is pretty cool – definitely an upgrade from Primarina.

2.) CorviknightRook
I caught my brave bird as a Rookidee way back at the start of the game and he stayed with me through the end! Even though HMs are no longer used for their traditional functions in Sword and Shield, so a bird was not necessary for the move ‘Fly,’ it would have felt strange not having a flying type on my team, and Corviknight was easily the coolest option.

3.) BolthundScamp
I had a corgi growing up, so I had to catch a Yamper when they popped up on route 4. Scamp ended up being the ace on the team once she evolved, and when I began swapping team members out after the sixth badge, Scamp was the only one who had a guaranteed spot.

4.) DragapultMerry
It took me wayyyyyy too long to find a Dreepy, but I knew I had to have this beautiful creature on my team and the two hours I spent hunting it was worth it. A Dragon/Ghost Pokemon that launches two smaller dragons from its head as a weapon? Uh, YES PLEASE.

5.) Galarian RapidashMana
It’s a FAIRY-TYPE UNICORN, people. Why wouldn’t I have one on my team??? She was a bit of a late addition, but from the moment Galarian Ponyta was revealed, I knew I would have one on my team. She is beautiful, and kicks butt too!

6.) CoalossalRiga
I had no intentions of using this Pokemon one I was able to preview the dex, but I caught a Rolycoly fairly early on and she grew on me! She is now my main egg-hatcher, since she has the flame body ability, but she can also totally wreck the competition.

Honorable mentions:
ThievulThistle
He still pops in now and then to max raid fight, but I swapped him out for Merry before the end. He also crushed the ghost gym.
AppletunFiji
I didn’t catch an Applin until right before I fought Raihan, so Appletun didn’t make the cut… but he is a treasured member of my secondary Dragon-only team, which I am currently developing!

 

Yesterday

Yesterday, my alarm went off at 4:30AM. I smashed the snooze button until 4:50, but it was technically my day off, so I wasn’t under much pressure to be on time to work.

I brewed my coffee into a “Do or do not, there is no try” travel mug emblazoned with Yoda on the side, grabbed a protein bar, donned lazy-day yoga pants and a sweatshirt, and climbed into my car as the sun began to break over the horizon. For about the fiftieth time since I bought it, I thanked the car gods (and the previous owner) for blessing me with a vehicle that was customized to have a seat warmer installed in the front seat. It will be a blessing on cold winter mornings.

I lamented that the Radio Classics station on XM Satellite Radio was playing a comedy, and not one of my favorite detectives, like Philip Marlowe, or a good creepy show like Suspense or the Witch’s Tale. So I settled for music on the long commute to work, hating the bits and scraps of poor, car-struck deer littering the sides of the highway.

I strolled into work, determined to fly under the radar, but still said hello to a few folks as I hastened by, though I reminded them that it was my day off – not to brag about my “dedication,” but to hopefully inspire them not to bother me too much with the usual day-to-day shenanigans since I was putting in my own time. For three and a half hours, I managed to get a good chunk of work done, but left before I could get too sucked into a project. Also, my supervisor told me I looked terrible when I walked by, so I figured I should leave and hopefully alleviate some of the haggard-ness from my face.

I nabbed Starbucks breakfast – the spicy chorizo sandwich and a caramel cloud macchiato – and made the long drive home. This time, Gunsmoke was on the Radio Classics channel, and though I normally shy away from Westerns, I decided to give it a go, and was pleasantly surprised that I enjoyed it. Not as much as my favorite detectives, but my ears have been opened to a new genre, at the very least.

Once home, I made a couple of phone calls – endured the tedious wait times and horrible hold music – and set up my utilities for my new apartment, feeling proud to see new account numbers written down in my name. Then my mom and I went to the gym, where I was able to knock out a few chapters of my latest read, and reached the first few pages of the final installment in Claire Farrell’s Chaos series, which I am absolutely loving. It makes me look forward to the tiring treadmill sessions, as all great books should.

After a quick drive home and an even quicker shower, my mom and I drove over to the movie theater for an afternoon showing of Harriet, the biopic starring Cynthia Erivo. Though I yet again cursed the inefficient way the theater conducts their concessions lines, especially on $6 Tuesdays, I was thrilled to see that the female-driven movie about a heroic black woman was showing in theater #1, which is the largest and often reserved for the hotly-anticipated blockbusters, even though it came out the same day as Terminator: Dark Fate. Despite some audience annoyances, we were both thoroughly engrossed in the film and enthralled by the powerful performances.

Still pondering the messages of the movie, we ran a couple of errands, grabbed another Starbucks (don’t judge me) – me a venti pink drink, her a pumpkin cream cold brew – and then, before returning home, we decided to do our duty and vote in the local elections. I am personally a long way from being fully informed, but I made my choices and cast them, and felt proud to receive the little “I voted!” sticker at the end of the line. The sun was going down as we drove home – the curse of the dreaded daylight savings – and I started the first of what would be three loads of laundry in an effort to get a few chores finished before the close of the day.

After a salmon dinner, I scrolled through my FB feed, rife with “Remember, remember, the fifth of November” posts, and just as many posts lambasting them – and then my mom and I tuned in for The Little Mermaid Live! on ABC, while my dad left the room to watch NCIS upstairs. I was charmed, watching one of my favorite Disney movies come to life onscreen, and I was personally pleased by the performances and the production value. Still humming the familiar tunes, I turned in to my bedroom for the night, watched a few Youtube videos, then drifted off to sleep.

Yesterday felt like a simple day – not a waste, per se, but maybe a little dull, not too jam-packed, nothing to sneeze at. An average November day. But when I write it out… sometimes, even the simple things can have more meaning than we first believe.

 

 

McFlurry

Little known fact: I am scared of drive-thrus.

This is a quirk that stems from my irrational fear of car washes, I think. Or it’s born from some other bizarre facet of my psyche. I don’t really know, but I have actively avoided drive-thrus since I got my driver’s license ten years ago.

My new route to work features numerous drive-thrus that make food more accessible, which is convenient for someone with an hour commute, but for my first few shifts, all I did was mobile order Starbucks and pick it up for a dose of caffeine on the ride home. No drive-thrus – I’d rather go inside the establishment and order something “to go” than to go through a drive-thru.

But, the other night, I closed at work, so I wasn’t ready to leave the building until around 10:30, and then a snafu with the alarm system kept me there until around 11. I was very, very done with the day by that point – because a very nice police officer also scared the living daylights out of me while I was working out the alarm problem, because he thought I looked suspicious sitting alone in my car in front of the building. Which I did, I guess, but it was a shot of adrenaline I didn’t need.

As I was finally driving home, I passed a Wendy’s, a Burger King, a Sheetz… and then I saw it. Those horrible, beautiful golden arches. McDonald’s.

My stomach rumbled, and I knew what I had to do. I had to face my fear in order to scrape some semblance of joy from the night.

I pulled up to the order box, heart pounding, and ordered my favorite item on the menu – an M&M McFlurry. And, by some miracle, their ice cream machine was working! I carefully pulled up to the next window and paid, then pulled up to the last window to claim my prize. The employee held it out to me, but it was there, at the final window, that one of my drive-thru related fears materialized… I hadn’t pulled up quite close enough.

This might have, in my earlier years, prompted a bit of an emotional crisis. I was once driving on the Mass Pike and didn’t pull up close enough to take the ticket in the toll station and had to get out of my car, serenaded by the blaring horns of fellow drivers. It was an irrationally traumatic moment for me, and heightened the fear of drive-thrus. So, this same scenario unfolding on a chilly October evening, in the twenty seventh year of my life, could have sparked an equally upsetting episode.

But, it didn’t. I just put my car in park and leaned out the window a little further, and the McFlurry was mine. It was a smooth drive home that evening. Not only did I conquer a fear, but I got one of my favorite sweet treats in the process.

And maybe – just maybe – I can take on some bigger drive-thrus now, too.

The Great Zoltar

While doing some after-dinner shopping while on vacation a couple of weeks ago, my mom, sister, and I wandered into a new-agey mineral shop. I enjoyed perusing the crystals and geodes, but what ultimately drew my attention was the fortuneteller machine by the door. It was a good one, too – just like Zoltar from Big.

I know that suck things are basically nonsense. A flashy machine with a semi-sinister looking puppet inside isn’t going to be able to tell your fortune. But there was a dollar burning a hole in my wallet. I mean, why not give it a go? It worked for Tom Hanks, right?

20190926_2046268461337887423456400.jpg

My fortune read (if you can’t read the picture, which you probably can’t):

“Something that has been puzzling you will finally be revealed. A lost object may reappear, or a letter may come from afar. Friends share secrets and your loyalty is rewarded. A Capricorn supervisor is very impressed.”

That night, I was standing on the brink of a big change in my life. I strolled along the pier feeling confident and ready for what the future held. I am going through a major shift now, and… it’s a struggle. I knew it would be, but I’m having a harder time than I anticipated. So, I am keeping this fortune tucked in my wallet. It may be a load of hooey based on random numbers and conjecture, but I still have hope in the future.

Outside Looking In

I feel like every generation has some “fandoms” that, although they can transcend time and appeal to various age groups, are seen almost as a “staple.” But, of course, it’s impossible to involve yourself in all of them. So here are the ones I missed out on, as a millenial growing up in the nineties/2000’s!

1.) The Legend of Zelda
I have, in my twenty seven years on this planet, never played a Zelda game. I was a Sony girl, so I had Playstations growing up – the only Nintendo consoles I owned were the hand-held ones, and I only played them for Pokemon and the occasional KH game or FF remaster. So as far as the fandom goes, I only have basic knowledge, which is one of my greatest shames as a gamer. I do know that the hero is Link, though. I am similarly a novice at most Mario games, but I am a beast at Mario Kart.

2.) A Series of Unfortunate Events by Lemony Snicket
I read about 10 million books in my youth and somehow missed out on this book series. It is the kind of series that is 100% up my alley, so I’m not sure how it flew below my radar. I have since made it a goal to read all of them, because I don’t want to watch the show without having read the books.

3.) Anything on the Disney Channel
Honestly, I didn’t know that Disney Channel was even a thing during my childhood. I was more into Nickelodeon and Cartoon Network, and only discovered Disney Channel when I stumbled upon a That’s So Raven rerun on TV one day while scrolling through the channels. So, I didn’t know that there were show versions of my favorite Disney movies, like Hercules and Aladdin. I was too busy scaring the pants off of myself watching Are You Afraid of the Dark? By the time I discovered it, I was basically too old to be watching…. though I snuck in a couple of episodes of Suite Life from time to time.

4.) Naruto (and other popular anime)
I was a pretty big weeaboo back in the day, but never got into such titles as Naruto, Death Note, Bleach, or One Piece, just to name a few. This is not to say that I didn’t like these shows – I just didn’t really watch them. I did watch a bit of Naruto and Bleach, and I enjoyed what I saw, but I tend to drop off from titles when they are super long and I’m not completely enthralled by them. This was the era when folks were wearing Naruto headbands to school, so being an anime fan who didn’t watch Naruto was a bit of a stigma. The exception is Death Note, which I did watch in its entirety but I did not quite get the hype as much as some of my friends did. The perfect anime length for me is 26-52 episodes, or 13 episodes, depending on the series. Anything longer tends to be too much for me, though I was hugely into Inuyasha and Sailor Moon.

To My Younger Self

Here, on Olde Poetry Monday Friday, a poem I wrote in 2012. I don’t remember writing it, but with all the changes going on in my life, I thought it was appropriate.

 

To My Younger Self

To my younger self,
A bit of advice for your future.
When Coach Smith tells you not to try and stop suddenly,
at the end of your section of the relay,
listen to him.
He knows what he’s talking about.
And your knees will never be the same.

Don’t take A.P. Government your senior year.
You aren’t even going to take the A.P. Test
and that ‘B’ is going to ruin your G.P.A.
and while you’re at it, don’t take Calculus freshman year of college.
that ‘B’ is going to ruin your G.P.A.

Practice your violin a little more,
so you don’t get embarrassed when you have to play for a crowd,
and so you don’t have to fake-play your way through concerts.
Actually learn how to play the James Bond theme
instead of moving your bow and hoping you’re in synch with the others.

Say hi to your old Spanish teacher when you walk past him in the hallway.
Even when he isn’t your teacher anymore.
Because when he runs into your class and congratulates you
on the hefty college scholarship you received
you’re going to feel like an asshole for not talking to him for two years.

Don’t steal your government teacher’s prized stress ball during class
and then spend study hall cutting letters out of the newspaper to make ransom notes
and then slide said ransom notes under the door of her office.
…actually, you should still do that.
That was pretty funny.

Remember to tell your grandmother you love her every time you see her.
Remember that no matter what stupid shit your sister does,
she took you to pet cows on your sixteenth birthday.
Remember to always see movies with your parents.
Remember to always thank Alex’s parents for having you over for dinner.
Remember to tell that guy you aren’t interested before he breaks up with his girlfriend for you.
Remember to always laugh at ‘That’s What She Said’ Jokes.

But most of all, past self,
Remember. No regrets.

Life, Life, Life…

So, in the interest of transparency, I have a lot going on right now.

I’ve accepted a promotion at my day job, which means I am leaving the place I have worked for the last ten years, and taking a new position in a new location with the same company. It’s scary, and I’m crazy nervous, but you know – nothing ventured nothing gained. I’m ready to leave the nest, and grow and learn in a new environment.

But because that is happening, it’s going to be a big adjustment period for me, so I’m going to… have to decrease my posting. I missed a Monday a couple of weeks ago, so I’m sure this isn’t entirely unexpected for those of you wonderful people who read this blog. Once the promotion kicks in, I will be working more hours, plus we’re heading into the holidays – and, if you didn’t already know, I work retail, so the holidays are basically murder. I’m trying to get a podcast off the ground with some friends, and I have my own writing to work on. Plus, until I find an apartment in my new location, I’ll be dealing with a commute that is NO FUN WHATSOEVER, and which will likely take a massive toll on my free time.

I know this just sounds like a lot of excuses, but I really don’t want to burn myself out. So… we are cutting the twice weekly posts to weekly. I’m considering posting on Wednesdays, which is a nice middle of the week slot, but may keep it to Fridays instead. As for this week, there will be a Friday post, but no Monday post next week!

Thanks y’all for your patience! And if you have any blog posts you would like to see, send them my way!

 

 

12 Random Questions

1. If You Had The World’s Attention For 30 Seconds, What Would You Say?
REMEMBER TO FLOSS YOUR TEETH EVERYDAY! AND STAY HYDRATED!

2. If You Had To Work But Didn’t Need The Money, What Would You Choose To Do?
Any type of writing. Or cuddling kittens. That counts, right?

3. What Is In Your Fridge Right Now?
Leftover pizza, yogurt, milk, coffee creamer, some fruit, some veggies. Pretty boring, typical stuff.

4. If You Were Home On A Rainy Sunday Afternoon, What Movie Would You Most Want To See On Television?
Jumanji! The 1995 version.

5. Where Do You Not Mind Waiting?
I don’t mind waiting anywhere, really. I usually bring a book along so the time doesn’t drag.

6. If You Could Close One Fast Food Chain, Due To Disgusting Food, What Would You Pick?
…Taco Bell. *braces for torches and pitchforks*

8. If You Could Be A Member Of Any TV-Sitcom Family, Which Would It Be?
Oddly enough, the Crane family from Frasier. I think I’m neurotic enough to fit in with Niles and Frasier, but chill enough to be like, a more laid-back, distant cousin of theirs at the same time.

9. What Would Be The Best Thing About Not Having A Sense Of Smell?
I have a fairly sensitive nose, so I would like being able to walk into a soap store or candle store without feeling nauseous.

10. Would You Leave Your Hometown Forever Or Stay In Your Hometown Forever?
I’d leave it forever, only because many of my friends have moved away, and my parents plan to leave within the next couple of years. Also, it’s a bit of a “backwards” area.

11. When Scrolling Through Social Media, Do You Prefer Posts From Celebrities Or From Your Best Friends?
Friends, but I enjoy commentary from my favorite celebs. It depends on the medium, though.

12. Is There An App That You Hate But Use Anyways?
I get really addicted to random games, but only ever have one on my phone at a time. I got sucked into a game called Wordscapes and got through 900+ levels in a week. I’m onto a new one now, so although I hate them… I still use them.

Questions borrowed from HERE.

The Hawk

Today, I was cruising along on my way to get my post-work Starbies (a venti iced cocoa cloud macchiato, if you wondered) when a flutter of feathers caught my eye. I directed my gaze just in time to watch a majestic hawk swoop down from atop a telephone pole and snatch a poor, furry creature – either a chipmunk or a squirrel, not sure which – up off the ground, and then fly away to enjoy the spoils.

So, basically… I witnessed a murder.

But, after I processed the trauma of seeing my second brutal rodent death (the first was a squirrel vs. van incident), I got to thinking. I felt bad for the rodent, of course – it didn’t deserve a grisly death, even though that’s the way of the world. It was just trying to scurry through some tall grass and find some seeds or nuts for lunch. But I think I also felt a kinship with it.

In certain elements of my life, I am more rodent than hawk. More discreet, meek, and aiming to squeak by unnoticed. The kind of creature that gets swooped on, scooped up, and made a meal of. Who fearfully watches the skies for any sign of talons, and hides from the shadow of wings overhead.

But, as I grow and learn, I am trying to be more like the hawk. I don’t want to be someone who snatches up and preys on the innocents, however. No… but someone who is keen-eyed, goal-oriented, and sharp. Who sees what they want and goes for it, even if it takes great patience to accomplish. Who strives for results and is not afraid to reach for them, even in the face of potential failure. To be feared, instead of fearful.

There is value in the way of the rodent – learning to be quiet, and to listen. To be watchful and mindful of others. But similarly, there is value in the way of the hawk – learning to be patient, but driven. To be strong-willed and willing to strike to achieve results. So maybe, the best way is to be a bit of both. Not quite feared, but not too fearful.

Or, you know…. just be a bear and hibernate for months at a time, or something.